Where Is It?
Yes, every woman has a G-Spot. Feel along the upper wall of the vagina, approximately an inch and a half to two inches north (towards the navel). It takes a contortionist to reach this area. Most women are unfamiliar with it, partly because of the location is difficult to reach. Men rarely stimulate this area digitally. The G-Spot must be the focus rather than just thrusting a finger anywhere inside the vagina. Just as men have incredibly sensitive nerve endings at the tip of the penis, women have the G-Spot.
When a woman begins to get really aroused this area will swell and feel ridged to the touch. The G-Spot is the size of a quarter, larger when aroused. Usually, the G-Spot swells when you are just getting ready to have an orgasm inside her. As the swelling penis begins to stimulate this area the G-Spot will swell naturally. That is usually when you are reaching an orgasm.
The first time the G-Spot is stimulated could be painful. If your partner has ever been molested, shamed for touching herself as a child, or traumatized sexually at all, this area will need some gentle and loving healing.
Why Most Women Never Have A G-Spot Orgasm
Pain from trauma stays frozen in the G-Spot and has shut down this area. One in three women have been sexually molested. Often they don’t even remember, as they were so young when it happened. Even shame from sexual touching in childhood can be enough to freeze pain in the G-Spot. If it hurts, most women don’t want to continue with touch in this area. They will shun stimulation avoiding the pain. Moving THROUGH the pain is what is needed. Until you heal the pain and trauma, there will be no G-Spot orgasm. The other side of pain is where the ultimate pleasure is.
How To Heal The G-Spot of Trauma
Professionally trained Tantrikas can help you heal this area. As a couple, this can be done in the privacy of your own home in a nurturing safe environment. If you are willing to heal this area on your own, know it is possible. Patience, caring and understanding are a must. The first time, old emotions, tears will probably surface and be excruciatingly painful. Most people stop at this point. Committing to move through the pain and heal the trauma is a must. If the two of you agree to do this as a healing, know that orgasm is not the goal. Healing is.
Since most of us don’t associate pain with intercourse, this is as far as most couples get. Speaking from experience, the pain was so intense I wanted to stop. I cried. I needed to take breaks and keep breathing. There was nothing sexual about the experience for me. It was too painful for it to be sexual. We tend to hold our breath when something hurts. That is the opposite of what we need.
Keep breathing through this, it will pass. Go slowly. Gentle come hither stroking with one or two fingers with the hand turned upward. Gently stroke this area and make eye contact through the process.
Keep Eye Contact
Sexually traumatized women often disconnect during sex. It is imperative that you maintain eye contact. Think of this as a healing only. If orgasm results it is a bonus. It may take two or three of these healing sessions to clear all the pain and trauma that has been frozen in this area for years. Don’t rush. Be patient. Believe me the benefits once this pain has passed are so worth it.
There are tools specifically created to reach the G-Spot. I caution you, however, as they are often made of acrylic and can feel hard and too severe at first. The finger is more gentle, until the pain diminishes.
Disappointment and Frustration
Women often end up frustrated because our needs are in opposition to what a man needs. This is why you need to make sure you spend 20 minutes stimulating her clitoris, vagina and G-Spot individually. I mention vagina and G-Spot separately because the stimulation of each is different.
Frankly, it is an awkward spot to reach. It requires some stretching on the man’s part, but is so worth it when you do.
Women have the ability to ejaculate just as men do. What comes out of a woman’s vagina is not urine. Most men shame women the first time they experience this event. If you do, it may be the last time your woman has an ejaculation. What is emitted is ejaculate, similar to vaginal secretions or a man’s ejaculation. Of course is does not contain seminal fluid, only men have the ability to carry sperm.
If ejaculation occurs, celebrate! This is a grand event. Think how you would feel if you never experienced ejaculation in your lifetime, most women never do.